I have never been more satisfied with a business than I was with Segway SF Bay. A few minutes ago I registered an account with Yelp just to leave the following review:

Since at least the first season of Arrested Development, I’ve wanted to ride a Segway. Most major cities have at least one Segway tour but what they don’t get is that I’m not interested in a tour, I just want to ride a gyroscope that tops out at 12 mph. Segway SF Bay understands that.

For the cost of a traditional Segway tour, Segway SF Bay will just give you a Segway for 3 hours and let you go wherever the hell you want. The clock doesn’t start until after a quick training session in Golden Gate Park, and you don’t have to waste any of your valuable Segway time standing in a semi-circle politely listening to boring anecdotes about Alcatraz.

Recklessly riding a Segway and saying, “good afternoon,” to everyone I passed was as fun as I always hoped it would be. Also, as a somewhat unexpected bonus, I really did get to see a lot of San Francisco. In our three hours we covered about 15 miles. Some quick research shows that guided Segway tours in San Francisco have an itinerary that barely gets you out of Fisherman’s Wharf.  It’s really great to see a city at a pace that’s faster than walking, slower than a car, and sillier than a bicycle.

Our pointman at Segway SF Bay, Charlie, was terrific. He told us that if we were running late to just take our time and be safe, and thoughtfully brought everyone gloves (think about how cold you would get on a bike if you weren’t, you know, moving at all). My Segway posse foolishly thought two hours would be enough time, but when we realized we wanted to keep going we were able to extend our rental with an easy phone call.

Segway SF Bay is a small business, and I strongly recommend it to both tourists who want to explore the area around Golden Gate Park and locals who want to ride Segways without any supervision. I wish someone would open a similar service in Central Park for my next birthday party.