Dear Owner of Mountain Creek,

This weekend I visited your waterpark, which I’ve been doing every few summers since I was a kid and it was still known as Action Park*. I had a great day, but I also had some exciting ideas about how to improve the Mountain Creek experience. You’re obviously important and busy people, so I’m just going to get right to the suggestions without wasting time on what I assure you are very impressive waterpark rennovation credentials.

1) Replace the Tarzan Swings with tire swings. BAM! We’re just getting started and I’ve somehow improved what was already one of the park’s best attractions for the cost of a few old tires!
2) Currently you have to wait in line to ride Thunder Drop as a pair in a double-tube, but I feel like if we just let everyone do whatever it would probably be fine. If I sign a waiver, could I do it on a boogie board?
3) Waterslides that go up.
4) Just less rules in general.
5) What’s the worst part of the water park? Getting out of the water. That’s why I propose putting the entire park in a huge 5-acre pool. All the waiting on line, eating, drinking, souveneir shopping - everything - is done in the pool. You basically get in immediately after parking your car and never get out. We will figure out bathrooms later.

Thank you, I will follow-up with a call to see how quickly my suggestions are being implemented. See you again soon!

Sincerely,

Jeff Rubin
Waterslide Enthusiast

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* p.s. Neutrality debate or not the Action Park article is one of my favorites on Wikipedia. I don’t know if you guys have been reading my blog, but that’s kinda a big deal.